So you're going to prematurely punish me?

sooooo....I just got off the phone with my husband earlier and we had this big fight about shit that isnt even happening. When he came home from christmas break I told him I wanted to put the past in the past and start fresh because we fight way too much about shit that doesnt matter anymore. In particular my ex's.....he thinks that because they are always trying to contact me that Im gonna run right out and fuck them all, like Im the biggest oober skank in the world. He brings up one in particular who is the ugliest mo fo in the world...the only reason why I went out with him was to be cool ( i was 16). He annoyed the shit outta me and I havent talked to him for the past 5 years. Well around the middle of last year our relationship was at its lowest and as a last ditch effort I contacted him and tried to make my husband jealous to snap out of whatever it was he was doing, It didnt work needless to say and I quit talking to him. Recently one of my friends went out with him so we started talking again when my dad was in the hospital for a month. I told my husband I quit talking to him when I didnt and I cant keep anything from him. So when he came home for christmas break and we could talk face to face I tried to explain to him what its like when your all alone in the house with your infant daughter and have ABSOLUTELY no one to talk to. After a certian point even my own mother got tired of talking to me. So I had no one else to turn to. Mind you every last one of our conversations were PG and if he pushed the issue and further I would simply get offline and talk to him in a few days. Well now another one of my ex's has emailed me on myspace confessing his love for me, this one is a little trickier because this one I actually had hidden feelings for until recently. But as previously mentioned I cannot keep anything from my husband so he knew about these feelings. As I read my ex's email, I felt NOTHING. I thought my heart would be doing backflips and I would throw up. Because before my husband came along this is what I wanted most in my life. A chance to be with this person again who I'd loved so much and hadnt had a chance to fully appreciate because our relationship was ended prematurely. But low and behold nothing, no sparks, no fireworks, no even sweaty palms. It was then that I realized that MY husband IS the man of my dreams. He is the person who I'd loved so much and hadnt had a chance to fully appreciate because our relationship had ended prematurely. The person I was trying to find in everyone else (subconsciously) was already in my life, starring me right in the face (figuratively as hes in Georgia). There are no missing links in my life and there is nothing that needs to be fufilled. So after all the connections connected I kindly replied "No thanks" and proceeded to block him from ever messaging me again. Well once again my honesty bit me in the ass, because when I told my husband about this, I thought he would be overcome by joy as I was to learn of the completeness in our relationship. Instead I spent the next 20 mins crying my eyes out desperately trying to secure him and let him know there is no one else in the world for me. I told him this fight was ludacris and that we could be spending our time on the phone talking about much better things. That these people he is contantly bringing up, dont even exsist in my world and that they shouldnt exsist in his either. And that by continuing to bring them up, he was forcing me to have them in my world. He said he was sorry and that he shouldnt even have brought it up it was stupid....I just hate how he never trusts me! He is more of the person who has the things in the closet and I never bring them up. But with him, its like a constant battle. I always just try to support him and make him feel like a god, but its never enough. The end result was 5 rolled tacos with guacamole and a chicken taco from my favorite mexican place.